Sister gets more of man’s time than his wife and kids

Dear Abby ByAbigailVanBuren

DEAR ABBY: I don’t know how to handle this. My husband of 29 years spends more time with his sister and her family than he does with me and our children. If I say anything about it, he jumps all over me, defending her. He says she doesn’t have anyone to help her. But Abby, she has two grown sons and a husband she recently decided to divorce. I think his relationship with his sister is weird, and other people have said they think so, too. One person even called it creepy. When I told my husband I thought it was a weird relationship, he yelled at me. I can no longer talk about his sister with him; it’s off limits. Please help. — ONLY THE WIFE DEAR ONLY THE WIFE: Has your husband always been close to this sister? It may be the reason he is spending time with her. I’m sure she wouldn’t be divorcing her husband if the marriage had been a bed of roses, and she may need private time with her brother to help her detoxify. That said, that he spends more time with his sister than with you and the children is unusual. It makes me wonder about the state of your own marriage. If there is stress and tension the two of you can’t resolve together, you may need to consult a licensed marriage and family therapist. *** DEAR ABBY: Our 47-yearold son remarried two years ago. We have a 15-year-old grandson from his previous marriage who lives with his mom and who visits his dad every other weekend. We are not close with our new inlaws, who live out of state. We recently found out that they have purchased a second home very close to our son. The problem is, the home is located within a nudist colony and, therefore, we assume they are in fact nudists. Should this be a problem for us (we are both 70), or should we not be concerned? — WONDERING IN THE SOUTH DEAR WONDERING: I don’t think there is anything to be worried about. If you are concerned that your grandson will “see” something shocking, please know that he can find whatever he is curious about on his computer or cellphone. However, if you are worried that either of you will be forced to view or participate in nude activities when you visit your son, all you have to say is, “I think we’ll stay at a nearby hotel, thank you.” *** DEAR ABBY: I recently attended a wedding and was videotaped while I was dancing. I was shown the tape later at a family gathering. I’m not a great dancer, and I looked silly, so I asked that the video be deleted. Instead, it was passed around and everyone laughed and made fun of me. It was embarrassing and hurtful. My husband says I’m overreacting. Am I? I said nothing and don’t intend to, but I can’t get it out of my mind. -DANCING FOOL IN OHIO DEAR DANCING FOOL: Your feelings are your feelings. Nobody wants to be made fun of. But you have two choices: The first is to continue to stew about it. The second is to join in the laughter, admit you don’t dance like a gazelle — few people do — and let it go. If you downplay it, it will go away.