6 steps to seeing real change

It’s never too late to change your life. When you don’t like something in your life you have to be able to illuminate the cause of the problem and what part you’ve taken to create it in the first place. If you can't see your part in the problem, and blame someone else for it, you have no control over the change. You can’t get anyone to do anything they don’t want to do.

One divorced woman wrote that she’d been married for 25 years and her husband had cheated on her more than once during the marriage and had ultimately left her for another woman. She said she hardly recognized her home or herself and she blamed him. Then she realized, in spite of a cheating husband, she’d successfully raised two happy children and she needed to stop worrying about what her husband did and focus on what she was going to do.

She figured he probably felt he’d had a good excuse for the affairs because she’d gained a bunch of weight and was not attractive, she hadn’t had the energy or desire to be intimate with him because of her unhealthy body, the house had gotten out of control and she was a full time homemaker and felt guilty for her shortcomings.

It occurred to her if she were to get her act together, she’d get her life back, her body back and her home back. She didn’t mention anything about wanting to get her ex back. It took her a little over a year to reach her goal and she was looking forward to flaunting her new self (in a size eight, mother-of-the-bride suit)

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Pam Young Club Organized YOUNG

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at their daughter’s wedding.

Deciding what you can do, especially when someone is unfaithful, isn’t always easy, but it’s necessary if you want your power back.

I remember going to my minister when my husband was caught having an affair (I had three little kids and they came to the session with me because I couldn’t get a babysitter) and he told me that my job was to be the best me I could be, not for my husband but for me.

Back then I was frumpy, suspicious, and overweight and kept a totally cluttered and dirty home. I knew what I needed to do. I knew disorganization affected every aspect of my life; my health, relationships, finances, appearance, recreation, hospitality etc., but I got temporarily stuck in self-pity and the resultant poor habits and routines.

Getting help is essential, and most of us aren’t very good at asking for it, but we need to get over that. It was only when I shared my problems with my sister that the two of us came up with a plan.

Where two or more are gathered you increase the energy tenfold, whether you’re robbing a bank or getting organized.

3. Create a plan of action

When I discovered that I could baby step my way to being organized, I let go of the vision of a mountain to climb. In 'Sidetracked Home Executives:from pigpen to paradise' we said, “You can only eat an elephant one bite at a time!”

Not that we were into eating elephants, we just initially saw our “problem” as something so much bigger than we

were.

4. Do at least one action every day according to the plan

When you break any problem down into manageable bites you can do anything! (If you walked five miles every day in a year you'd walk 1,825 miles. That’s almost half way across our country.) It might not seem like much but it is.

5. Be patient and persistent Keep the vision of what you want in your mind as much as you can. One of my visions was surely from Nelly (my inner child). I wanted revenge. I wanted my ex to see what he lost and be sorry. Oh dear, I hadn’t quite learned that vengeance isn’t mine and anyway, the best revenge is having a happy successful life!

We don’t need to spend a single byte of our precious minds thinking about what somebody else thinks, even if he or she did hurt us. “What goes around, comes around,” is good enough for me.

6. Know you’re not alone

In 'The Course in Miracles' it says, “If you only knew who was with you on the path you’ve chosen, you would never be afraid.” Spend time feeling the presence of your guardian angels, the spirits of your ancestors and the Holy Spirit. You are NOT alone whether you know it or not.

If you liked this blog, here's more on the subject: http://blog.cluborganized. com/3-powerful-waystochange- your-life-0.

P.S. Speaking of the blog, The Joy of Being Disorganized has changed so many lives for the better, because it'll guide you to get organized just enough to please you! Visit www.cluborganized.com today and order a copy!

For more from Pam Young go to www. cluborganized. com.

You’ll find many musingsfrom Pam on how to get organized, lose weight and get your fi-nances in order, all from a reformed slob’s point of view.