Only the lonely

H ave you heard the Beatles song entitled “Eleanor Rigby”? The Beatles made Eleanor famous in their song from 1966.

Eleanor was in the place one would not expect to find lonely people – church.

Churches are often the loneliest places for people.

The famous, popular, and rich folk are not immune to being lonely. Brad Delp, lead singer for the great American rock band Boston, pinned a note to his chest which read, “Mr. Brad Delp. ‘J’ai une âme solitaire’. I am a lonely soul” and then committed suicide by carbon monoxide poisoning at his home in 2007.

The evidence from multiple studies have shown Americans are becoming lonelier, leading to mental and physical health problems for people of all ages.

Neuroscientists have found feeling lonely changes the structure and function of our brains in areas associated with cognition, stress response, and emotions.

Churches have a mandate from Jesus to be His hands extended to the lonely people. The apostle Paul wrote, “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others” (Philippians 2:3-4).

This was not a suggestion it was a command. It was a command to Christians who lived in the first century as well as to us living today.

A command to be involved in meeting needs of others, especially the hungry, sick, forgotten, and lonely.

What did Jesus do?

Jesus looked for the lonely, then He listened to them, developing relationships to meet real needs. This is real ministry and it is real work.

How to develop relationships? Follow Jesus’ examples. Listen, accept, do not condemn, and serve.

Jesus listened to people.

Jesus listened to people with their objections, concerns, questions, demands, failures, problems and He went beyond the shortcoming in every person, Jesus listened to the woman at the well (John 4:26), the men on the road to Emmaus (Luke 24), the sick (Mark 1), the critics (in every Gospel), even the ones who should know better such as Nicodemus (John 3). Just listen to people and their loneliness will be known.

People speak with a voice but communicate with their heart and soul.

After listening, Jesus accepted people as they were but always left them challenged. Accepting people does not mean one approves of the choices, lifestyles, or arguments, but accepting people does show you care.

Lonely people need to know you care.

After accepting, Jesus did not condemn someone for expressing their feelings, doubts, questions, regrets, or desires.

Jesus said, “For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved” (John 3:17). The one group of people Jesus did take to task and had harsh words for were the religious leaders who were misleading folks by their teachings and the duplicity in their lives.

Serve the lonely. Church dinners are always an opportunity to serve. As a pastor I waited until most, if not all, folks made their way through the serving line. Waiting allows one to observe needs. More chairs needed to be set up, a single mom needed her child held while she went through the serving line. Always a child needed serving because he or she could not reach the water or tea – serve the little ones. The seniors needed help. Waiting allows one to see the lonely – usually sitting alone, go sit and eat with the lonely.

Listen, Accept, do not Condemn and Serve, these are all things Jesus lived out in His life. Never stop listening and watching for the lonely for they are all around us. We may not touch every lonely life, but we can make a difference for a lonely person.

Will you make a difference in one life?

Clayton P. Adams, West Memphis, AR email: claytonpadamslll@gmail.com.

Clayton Adams