CARRIE CLASSON (cont.)

my phone very well. But my phone isn't helping me any. It doesn't even take pictures easily. The response time is so slow that the person I am trying to photograph has allowed the smile to fade from their face. The dog I am photographing has been distracted and is looking in the other direction. The sun has gone under a cloud-or possibly set-before my phone gets around to snapping a photo.

“You need a new phone,” my husband, Peter, said after taking six photos in a row that looked as if the subject was under-water.

And so, after a lot of consideration, I decided to buy a new phone. I tried to buy one from a phone store, but they didn't answer their phone. I realized what a dumb bunny I was. You're not supposed to

a phone store. Duh.

So I did what they wanted me to do and ordered it online. Now it is coming in the mail, and I am filled with a faint dread because I am sure I will have to do something complicated to get it up and workingsomething involving a lot of poking and clickingbefore I am allowed to simply take less fuzzy photos and ignore my text messages in peace.

It's good for me, I suppose. Poking and clicking will fend off Alzheimer's perhaps and make me believe I am not too old to learn new tricks.

But the truth is, I'm not really looking for new tricks. Today, I'd be perfectly

Carrie Classon is a writer and performer. She is the author of “ I’ve Been Waiting All My Life to be Middle Aged” and a syndicated columnist. Her memoir, “ Blue Yarn,” was released in 2019. Follow her on Facebook at: CarrieClassonAuthor. The Postscript is now available as a podcast! Check your favorite streaming service or visit: CarrieClasson. com.