ROBERT HALL (cont.)

should call him 'Rabies.' What do you think?”

Only, we don't cotton to that around 'heah (as they say down South.)

You know, they have to have a local business license to operate, don't you?

Hint, hint….

ARE YOU LISTENING, CITY OF WEST MEMPHIS ? ( as one reader already pointed out in a recent Text the Times offering.)

with each other?

Just wait.

Mine was termed. Couldn't find it in the usual spot one day.

Looked everywhere.

Finally, tried another brand and brought it home.

Cooked it up and took a bite.

In the trash. Couldn't spit it out of my mouth fast enough.

Next week, tried a different brand.

Brought it home and tried cooking it.

The smell was incredible… like incredibly bad. I wouldn't even scrape it out into my dog's plate for fear it would poison my pet.

So, back at the store, asked a clerk about my old brand of sausage. He said it was back in a certain place.

It wasn't.

Because it isn't.

Never was at the new place.

They just don't have it.

They are already overpriced, and it doesn't help things that they are selling crap. Wasn't it bad enough for them when Wal-mart put a food store in Marion? Wasn't that pain enough? A lesson should have been learned. I know they put in a bank of new freezers, but what else are you going to do for me? You want to be in competition, man. Geez!

Then, there's eating joints.

Pulled into a parking slot at one the other day.

Ordered a chicken sandwich.

Not filet mignon or baked Alaska.

A… chicken… sandwich. I mean, we are in Arkansas, where there are like, what… ten million chickens in chicken houses all over the state, just waiting for me to order up their tender bodies for my consumption.

And what did I get?

I unwrapped it and tried to take a bite.

And couldn't.

So, I started pulling it out.

And couldn't.

It was, like stuck in my teeth. It was so tough it was like boot leather.

No, that's not quite right.

That would give boot leather a bad name.

So, we get to the speaker and ask for a cheeseburger in place of this travesty-ona- bun.

A girl comes out and hands us a bag.

And inside we find… wait for it…. wait for it: Cheesey fries.

Which, if you are paying attention, is

So, I get out our vehicle and find the manager.

She comes out.

“I don't want to cause trouble, but I could not eat the chicken sandwich I ordered. Pieces of it are still stuck in my teeth. So, I ordered a cheeseburger, but instead got cheeseyfries. You know, this place stinks. I heard it was bad from others, but I really didn't know how much. I mean, it is really ground level stuff and your workers can't even handle it.”

Then I went home and removed chicken chunks stuck between my teeth with a pair of visegrips.

Just another day in the life.

Robert L. Hall is a resident of Marion and has a Bachelor’s Degree in music from the University of Memphis and a Master’s Degree from Florida State University. He is the pianist for Avondale Baptist Church and a writer of fiction on Amazon eBooks.