as I heard a comedian once say, “If you weren’t the troops, I would be the troops… and I would make a terrible the troops]

H ey

Ralph, about being scared of needle shots, we’re all scared of something. I got 40, or so, shots before going to Vietnam, how would you like that lol? [Editor’s Note: Yes, I’ve both seen the multi-shot jet-injector in the movies and gotten a _rst-hand account about them from my Dad, who was also in Vietnam. Since you brought it up, I did a little checking and found out they stopped using them in 1980. As for how I would like it, I would not like it at all. In fact, I bet a lot of those “coinscientious objectors” back in the day were really just folks who refused to take all those shots. You know, the worst one of all isn’t really a shot, per se, but when they prick your _nger and then use that little vacuum straw to collect the blood while squeezing your _nger like it owes them money. Incidentally, our good friend “Papa Duck” Mr. Criner actually took the time out of his day to call me and let me know I was not alone in my disdain for needles. He even told me there’s a name for it, “trypanophobia,” and I don’t care what you call it, there’s something inherently wrong with not being at least a little concerned about letting someone stab you and inject something into the hole, right? And since you brought up Vietnam, let me thank you and everyone else who serves and has served. I de_nitely support the troops, because

[Editor’s Note: I assume this is in reference to Mayor McClendon’s plans to buy the old Fred’s building and convert it into a police headquarters. Full disclosure, I don’t know a whole lot about real estate, but it seems like a much cheaper alternative to building a new building for that purpose. I mean, I don’t know if you’ve priced construction materials lately but it has gone through the roof. Actually, it has gone through the roof, added on a second story and gone through that roof too. Just the other day, I was looking to get a few 2x4s to build a little ower bed. They’re $8.27 at Home Depot and $6.85 at Lowe’s. Ridiculous! Some other items, like basic plywood, were more than double what I have not-too-long-ago paid for them. Anyway, while I am all for _scal responsibility, it is worth noting that the whole idea of “savings” is that you save it with the intention of one day spending it on something you need, if you don’t ever actually “dip into” the savings, what’s the point of saving it in the _rst place, right?] Please! Please stop dumping trash on Hinkley Rd in Proctor! It is the _rst road you get to when you come out of West Memphis & people start throwing their trash out their vehicle, people are throwing out tires, bags of trash & I even saw two women just pulled over cleaning out their trash from their car! This just started with last few years! Respect yourself, others & the land! When the road oods you should see all the trash covering the road! Just take it to a dumpster please not the side of the road & all in front of people house & around the corner! I pray for camera & God to touch your hearts to stop doing that it’s not right! People trying care about their community & you dump out animals, trash & speed like you on a race track not respecting no one on the road & deep curves in road & you never slow down & stay on your side of the road, it is scary & sel_sh coming thru any neighborhood that way! [Editor’s Note: Before I get into this too far, let me _rst say curse you for making me go through and change everywhere you wrote “thrash” and changing it to “trash.” Outside of that, I did not change any of the rest of the grammar and such. Not because I wanted to poke fun at it, but rather because I try very hard to present these texts as they are written. Also, readers, please note that this text, even if it sounds like it, is not directed at me. I am not the “you” being referred to here. Anyway, it is a shame that so many people just treat the rural parts of our county as their personal dumping grounds. It’s bad enough when you see someone just throw their McDonald’s sack, empty drink cups or even (gross) dirty diapers out of the window at a red light in town, but to drive out to the country with the speci_c purpose of dumping trash, old tires, junk appliances, or whatever is just sad. And I’m glad you mentioned animals, because animal abandonment happens out in places like Proctor or Lehi or Jericho literally daily. I seriously doubt one person who does this sort of thing will read this and somehow change their ways but maybe they will. This is our community, not your personal litter box] Your address is 306 N. Missouri. In the nicest building on the street!!! [Editor’s Note: You are correct. I accidentally said “310” last week in this column. I guess maybe the “Suite 10” part got stuck in my head. Or maybe because the old of_ce was at 1010 Hwy. 77. It is a nice building. I’m almost never there, though, as I’ve converted one of my spare rooms into a home of_ce, but stop by and see us some time!]