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‘You go back across the river and stay there’

‘You go back across the river and stay there’

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Judge Thorne sends loitering man back to Memphis

‘District Court Report’ By Coretta Allen West Memphis District Court started up with 21 inmates on the docket to see Judge Fred Thorne.

• ‘Who Could It Be Now?’ The first man called up by Judge Thorne was asked if he was a “junior” or a “senior”?

“Were you here about two weeks ago or was that your son?” asked the judge.

“No, sir! That wasn’t me!” said the man, drawing laughter from the crowd.

• ‘It’s Tax Season’

Next up was a young man who was charged with loitering at a local motel.

“Your honor, the man called the police on me because I work there and he pays me under the table,” explained the man. “I also work for the IRS. By it being tax season, he thought I was going to tell on him.”

“You go back across the river and stay there,” said the judge.

• ‘Out of Left Field’

The next man up was charged with chasing another man with a baseball bat.

“They wrote that wrong!” insisted the man. “He was chasing me with the bat. He owed me $40!”

Judge Thorne had heard enough. “You can let him out at noon,” he told the jail.

• ‘Got Your Back’

A young man was brought in because he refused to do his community service work at the Animal Shelter.

He, along with his mother, said that he has a bad back. His mother had to pay $190 for the time he did not work. The judge was not very pleased with the development.

Another young man was ordered to perform community service, but his mother chose to pay a $75 fine instead.

• ‘Roll Call’

The judge ended up doing a roll call between cases because some defendants had shown up at 8:30 a.m. who were not scheduled to be in court until 1:30 p.m.

Judge Thorne found a total of four people who were in court at the wrong time. He gave them a lecture about keeping up with their scheduling orders instead of throwing them away “You should’ve borrowed some gray tape,”

he said.

• ‘Mistaken Identity’

Several people have been in front of Judge Thorne over the past several weeks charged with criminal impersonation. One young lady from this week attempted to pull a fast one on a State Trooper.

She identified herself as her male cousin, claiming to have had gastric bypass surgery and a sex change operation.

The State Trooper bought her story.

“I should have put the policeman in jail for believing that story,” Judge Thorne told the galley.

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