Only the Lonely, Part 2

By Clayton Adams Have you heard of Eleanor Rigby? She is the subject of a song about lonely people. The Beatles made Eleanor famous in their song from 1966. Eleanor was in the place one would not expect to find lonely people — church. Churches are often the loneliest places for people.

The famous, popular and rich folks are not immune to being lonely either. Brad Delp, lead singer for the great American rock band Boston, pinned a note to his chest which read, “Mr.

Brad Delp. ‘J’ai une âme solitaire’. I am a lonely soul” and then committed suicide by carbon monoxide poisoning at his home in 2007.

Churches have a mandate from Jesus to be His hands extended to the lonely people. The apostle Paul wrote; “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others” (Philippians 2:3-4).

This is not a suggestion it was a command. It was a command to Christians who lived in the first century as well as to us living today. A command to be involved in meeting needs. What can you do to help lonely people? Listen and look for lonely people, develop relationships and meet real needs. This is real ministry and it is real work.

How to develop relationships? Follow Jesus’ examples. Listen, Accept, do not Condemn and Serve.

Jesus listened to people. Jesus listened to people with their objections, concerns, questions, demands, failures, problems and going beyond all the shortcoming that exists in every person, Jesus listened and heard what people were feeling. The woman at the well (John 4:26), the men on the road to Emmaus (Luke 24), the sick (Mark 1), the critics (in every Gospel), even the ones who should know better but do not, such as Nicodemus (John 3). Just listen to people and their loneliness will be known.

People speak with a voice but communicate with their heart and soul.

After listening, Jesus accepted people as they were but always left them challenged, encouraged and as a friend. Accepting people does not mean one approves of their choices, lifestyles or arguments, but accepting people does show you care. Lonely people need to know you care.

After listening to and accepting — do not condemn someone for expressing their feelings, doubts, questions, regrets or desires. Jesus said, “For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved” (John 3:17). Read the Gospels that tell the story of Jesus’ life on earth and one will see that Jesus listened, accepted and did not condemn people. The one group of people Jesus did take to task and had harsh words for were the religious leaders who were misleading folks by their teachings and the duplicity in their lives.

Serve the lonely. Church dinners are always an opportunity to serve. As a pastor I waited till most if not all the folks made their way through the serving line. Waiting allows one to observe needs — more tables and chairs needed, set more tables and chairs.

A single mom needed someone to hold their baby while they went through the serving line — hold the baby. A young person couldn’t reach the water or tea — serve the little ones.

The elderly needed help — help. Mostly, waiting allows one to see the lonely — usually sitting alone, go sit and eat with them.

Offer to help — until you’re allowed to help.

Never say to someone “call me if you need anything” you will never get a call.

Offer to help until you’re allowed to help. Saturday morning breakfast is always a good time — sharing a meal is one of the simplest and best things a lonely person will enjoy.

Perhaps the most meaningful time for someone lonely is a home visit. Sharing coffee is my favorite.

Remember, a person does not care how much you know until they know how much you care. Your time, even a little time will make a difference in a lonely person’s life.

Listen, Accept, do not Condemn and Serve, these are all things Jesus lived out in His life. Never stop listening and watching for the lonely for they are all around us. We may not touch every lonely life but each of us can make a difference for at least one lonely person.

Clayton Adams has a message of faith he would like to share with the community. He would also like to hear from you. E-mail him at claytonpadamslll@ gmail.com.