‘ I don’t wake up that early’

‘ I don’t wake up that early’

Smart remark lands young man in jail

news@theeveningtimes.com

A couple tried to enter the courtroom with their pit bull dog. The bailiff stopped them. “He is a service dog,” said the man. “I don’t care. Dogs aren’t allowed in the courtroom.” The dog was not on a leash.

The woman who was in court for a review was allowed in by herself. When she was called up in Judge Fred Thorne’s court the court clerk said, “She has done all that she needed to do. She was a very good worker.”

“I don’t want to see you back in my court,” said Judge Thorne.

“You won’t,” replied the woman.

A woman in jail was charged with a felony charge, possession of a controlled substance.

“Where do you live?”

“West Memphis.”

“Do you have a job?”

“Yes.”

“How long?”

“Since February.”

“How much do you make a week?”

“Maybe $300 a week.”

“Go talk to the public defender.”

A man charged with delivery of meth was also asked if he had a job.

“I work for my grandmother. She owns a store on Broadway.”

“What do you do for her?”

“I clean her parking area and mow.”

A woman got up to leave.

“Who are you to him?” asked Judge Thorne.

“I’m his wife.”

“Do you realize that he says he works for his grandmother. He doesn’t have a 40-hour-a-week job, a wife and he is charged with delivery of meth? Do you realize what that leads me to believe?”

“Yes.”

Aman in jail had his lawyer asking for him to be transferred to Mental Health.

“Jail, if he gets in trouble this weekend, I want him and his lawyer arrested!”

Another woman in jail was told by Judge Thorne, “You have a serious problem. You were sent to jail for one year and now you have a public intoxication. You did not go to domestic battery school. How do you plead?”

“My son died.”

“Have a seat. Does everyone know why I told her to have a seat? What is the first thing I told you to do?”

A man in jail was charged with driving on suspended.

“How do you plead?”

“Guilty as sin!”

“How do you pled on failure to register your car?”

“Guilty.”

“What were you doing in Crittenden County?”

“In love with a woman.”

“How long has your license been suspended?”

“Years.”

“$375 plus court costs and two days jail on the driving on suspended. $35 plus

Judge Fred Thorne court costs on the failure to register the car. Have a seat.”

“All right.”

Aman with a failure to stop at a stop sign and failure to appear pled guilty.

“$55 plus court costs on the failure to stop and $350 plus court costs on the failure to appear.”

A man in jail charged with driving on suspended pled no contest. To his charge of no headlights he pled guilty. “Where do you live?”

“North Carolina.”

“Where do you work?”

“A temp service for a construction company.”

“$55 plus court costs on the stop sign and $350 plus court costs on the failure to appear. Now pay your fines and get back to where you came from.”

A woman in the courtroom had ‘another DWI.’ “Put this one on the same court date as the first one she had,” said Judge Thorne.

The next woman also needed a trial date.

“You have had a terrible record the last few years.”

“I’ve had a very bad last two years,” she said.

“At some point, I try to help people a lot, but at another point I just don’t.”

A woman charged with careless driving pled no contest.

“Do you work?”

“Yes.”

“How long?”

“Four years at Auto Zone.” “What do you do?” “I am a National Account Rep.”

“$45 plus court costs and go to driver’s school and I will keep it off your record.” Awoman charged with following too close pled no contest.

“There was a wreck in front of me. The guy right in front of me stopped and I hit him.”

“Are you a good listener?” “Yes.”

“What did I do with the person before you?”

“I don’t know.”

“$55 plus court costs and go to driver’s school.”

A man charged with parking in a handicapped spot and failure to appear pled no contest to both charges.

“Why didn’t you come to court?”

“I was out of town.”

“I was a lawyer long before I was a judge. People try to skip out of town on their charges, but as I’ve always said, they will come back. They go to Milwaukee or Chicago. Where did you go?”

“Atlanta.”

“See, they always come back for some of Momma’s cooking or to their home. $55 plus charges on the handicapped parking spot and court costs on the failure to appear.”

An older man who had been in court many times before had a report from his eye doctor.

“You have to have eye surgery. One eye has scar tissue and the other eye has a cataract. Come back after your next visit with the doctor and let me know what he says then. You can’t be driving. You understand?”

“Yes, your honor.”

A woman in the courtroom came up for review.

“I am bi-polar.”

“That doesn’t give you the right to steal.”

Her stepfather came up with her, “She is doing good on her treatments. But she is not guilty of theft.”

“Do you want to change your plea and have a trial?”

“Yes,” replied the stepdad.

“You were also charged with domestic battery. Do you want to continue as you are or have a trial where you could go to jail or stay as you are?”

“Stay as we are,” said the woman.

“Be back for your next review on Sept. 19.”

Another man was supposed to bring proof that he had taken his GED test. He did not have it with him.

“I passed the test but I wasn’t able to print it out.”

“Didn’t you have a DWI charge in Marion and got a continuance until Aug. 4th?” “Yes.”

“Be back here on Aug. 26, and bring your toothbrush or your GED diploma.”

A young man and his mother came up.

“Why didn’t you do your community service?”

“I don’t wake up that early.”

“Momma, isn’t this the young man that you told me before that you have no control

over?” “Yes.” “10 days jail for contempt. Bailiff, arrest him. Momma, I feel sorry for you in the long run.”

By the Evening Times News Staff