‘I already told you I was drunk’

‘I already told you I was drunk’

There’s a fine line between an explanation and an excuse

news@theeveningtimes.com “Good Morning,” said Judge Fred Thorne on Friday in district court. “Let me look around and see how many reunions I’m going to have today. It looks like only about four.”

A man in jail pled guilty to theft and public intoxication.

“It looks like you went to Petro and helped yourself to a Coke and a chicken sandwich.” “I don’t remember. I was pretty drunk. I had money in my truck.,” said the man.

“$250 plus court costs and 10 days jail on the theft and $500 plus court costs on the public intoxication.”

A man in the jail who pled guilty to public intoxication was asked, “How old are you?” “I’ll be 62 in June.”

“How do you plead to fleeing?”

“No contest.”

“I bought a half-pint. My wife and I were arguing. I asked her if I could come back to get my work clothes and she let me.”

“Why were you fleeing?”

“I already told you I was drunk.”

“$250 on the public intoxication. I’ll dismiss the fleeing.”

A woman in jail was charged with loitering. She pled guilty. “There is a warrant for forgery on you out of Pine Bluff.”

“I had a nephew out of Memphis drop me off in West Memphis.”

“You were at the Iron Skillet three days.”

“I was trying to get to Little Rock Airport.”

“That’s not a very nice nephew. You asked him to take you to Little Rock and he let you out five miles from Memphis. Five days jail, have a seat.”

Aman in jail charged with loitering pled no contest.

“You were asking for money from people at the Taco Bell. Is it true that you drive a Jaguar?” “Yes.”

“30 days jail.”

A man in jail was charged with theft at Big Star. He pled no contest.

“I would feel sorry for you if you were stealing food, but you were stealing beer.”

“It was stupid of me.”

“Where do you live?”

“West Memphis.”

“Do you have a job?”

“I work for myself.”

“Doing what?”

“Painting.”

“When did you go to jail?”

“Thursday.”

“Let him out at 5 o’clock today.”

A woman in jail was charged with theft at Walmart. She pled guilty.

“Where do you live?”

“Memphis.”

“Why did you need to come over here and steal? $500 plus court costs and 10 days jail.”

Aman charged with failure to pay his fine pled no contest.

“You owe us $334.53. Why haven’t you paid?”

“I’ve paid.”

“No, you haven’t made any payments. You only had to pay $50 a month. Pay your fine or spend nine days in jail. Maybe someone here loves you enough to pay it off.”

A man in the courtroom was charged with careless driving. He pled no contest.

“I have a picture of the lines on the road where I pulled out. There is no way I can pull out of the driveway without crossing the solid white line.”

“I am going to dismiss this and let your take it up with your insurance company.”

A man in the courtroom was charged with expired license plates. He pled no contest.

“How long were the tags out?”

“I had been working on the vehicle at Don Gage’s and I test drove it and got a ticket.”

“Did he answer my question?” asked Judge Thorne.

“They must have been out six to eight months.”

“Did the owner of the car offer to pay the ticket?”

“No.”

“Is Don Gage going to pay the ticket?”

“No. I guess I will have to.”

“I do two dismissals a day. So you got lucky.”

A woman in the courtroom pled no contest to her charge of no insurance.

“My niece was driving the car, not me.”

“Do you want to change your plea to not guilty and have a trial?”

“Yes.”

A young man with a no driver’s license charge pled guilty.

“How old are you?”

“18.”

“Dad, why did you let him drive?”

“I am his grandfather. His mother sent me down here to be with him.”

To the young man, “Do you work?”

“No.”

“Eight hours community service and go to driver’s school. Grandfather, do you want to pay $200 today and he doesn’t have to do community service?”

“No! I want him to do the service.”

A woman charged with careless driving and suspended driver’s license pled guilty to both charges.

“I got a letter saying my drivers license is cleared but I don’t have it with me.”

“Lets make a deal. You can choose door number 1, door number 2 or door number 3. Number 1 is $275 plus court costs and two days house arrest. Door number 2 is I’ll give you a week to bring that letter back up here or door number 3 is if your letter doesn’t have proof that you license is okay you will get $500 and two days jail. Do you want 1, 2 or 3?”

“One!”

The next man in the courtroom was asked, “How do you plead to no driver’s license?”

“No contest.”

“Driving on suspended?”

“Guilty.”

“Failure to appear?”

“Guilty.”

“No tags?”

“No contest.”

“No insurance?”

“Guilty.”

“No insurance on the second arrest?”

“Guilty.”

“It’s Friday. Tell me why you shouldn’t take your meals in jail this weekend.”

“There was a death in the family and I was traumatized. I just moved here and I had a driver’s license in California.” “$75 plus court costs on the driver’s license. 10 days house arrest on the driving on suspended. $45 plus court costs on the no tags. $375 two times on the insurance.”

“What about the driving on suspended?” asked the court clerk.

“10 days house arrest. I hope you have some money with you today.” A woman charged with terroristic threatening and harrassment pled not guilty.

“Is this the case where you were having a family reunion?”

“Yes.”

“Wasn’t this over some man?” “No, with me.”

“I remember, you busted up the family reunion.”

“Yes.”

“See you in court.”

Judge Fred Thorne

By the Evening Times News Staff