‘I just keep stumbling’

‘I just keep stumbling’

Man can’t seem to stay out of Judge Thorne’s courtroom

news@theeveningtimes.com

Afunny exchange kicked of Friday’s session in District Court. Judge Fred Thorne began talking to a defendant in the jail. The jail clerk came over the speaker and told him that he had the microphone on mute.

“How could you know that? Are you a psychic?”

“Yes, I am,” replied the clerk at the jail.

“Is your mother Mrs. Cleo?”

“She is my step-mom.”

Judge Thorne asked an inmate with a felony charge how much he listed on his tax as his income.

“$1,900.”

“You must be a pretty poor mechanic.”

The next person he asked what she did for a living.

“I am in the restaurant business.”

“How much did you list as income on your taxes?”

“$22,000.”

“Maybe the mechanic should change to the restaurant business.” A man in jail charged with owing the court $730 pled no contest to that charge and guilty to no insurance and driving on suspended.

“You haven’t made a payment since 2013. $350 plus court costs and 90 days suspended to two days on the insurance and $295 plus court costs on the driving on suspended.”

To his wife in the courtroom, “He can get out of jail if you pay $600 on his fines today. You need to tell him that these things have to change.”

“Yes, I know,” she responded.

A man in jail charged with driving on suspended and failure to appear pled ‘nolo.’ “It is easy to tell that he has been in court a lot because that is not one of the pleas I suggested during my speech. Why do you keep driving?”

“I just started a job and I didn’t want to be absent.”

“$750 plus court costs and 10 days on the driving on suspended. $500 plus court costs on the failure to appear.”

A man in jail was charged with drunk, insane and disorderly conduct. He pled no contest.

“Do you have anywhere to go if I let you out?”

“My sister’s house.”

“Jail, if he can give you a phone number, call his sister and see if he can go there. Let him out if you can talk to her.”

A man charged with loitering pled no contest.

“You just can’t stay out of my court can you?”

“I just keep stumbling.”

You have been in court three times with multiple charges. Do you get a check?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Who do you live with?”

“I live by myself.”

“What would be a good time to let you out?”

“That is up to you, sir.”

“Anyone else would know to say, ‘now.’ Let him out at noon. Don’t come back in here.”

“I’ll try not to, boss.”

A man in jail was charged with driving on suspended. He pled not guilty.

“This is your third driving on suspended. Why do you keep driving?”

“I was just sitting in my yard.”

“Your trial date is April 4.”

Aman charged with tampering with physical evidence and no turn signal pled not guilty on the tampering and guilty on the turn signal.

“How long has it been since I’ve seen you?”

“Almost a year.”

“A minute? $35 plus court costs on the turn signal and trial date of April 18 on the tampering with evidence.”

Aman charged with driving on suspended and no insurance pled no contest to both charges.

“You’ve had a driving on suspended charge in 2009, 2013, 2014 and now 2016.”

“A guy ran a stop sign and hit me on my bike.”

“$750 plus court costs and five days jail on the driving on suspended. $375 plus court costs on the insurance.” A man charged with loitering pled guilty.

“I didn’t know I had a warr ant.” “You had a warrant in Crittenden County. Why were you out at 4 a.m. in the middle of the street. What was going on?”

“I was on my way home.”

“Do you have a job?”

“No, sir.”

“Do you have any income?” “None.”

“Who supports you?”

“No one.”

“Let him out at noon Sunday.”

Aman in the courtroom was asked by Judge Thorne, “Did you pay the $250 off?”

“Yes, sir. I paid it yesterday.”

“How do you plead to suspended license?”

“No contest.”

“$295 plus court costs and two days house arrest.”

Aman charged with driving on suspended pled guilty.

“How old are you?”

“28. I just got out of the hospital.”

“Do you work?” “Yes at Bosch.”

“Are you getting your license?”

“I’m working on it.”

“What do you have to do to get it back?” asked Judge Thorne.

“Make a few phone calls.”

“Even I couldn’t just make a few phone calls and get a license back. You didn’t try to get it back. $295 plus court costs and two days house arrest.”

Ayoung man and his grandfather came up when his name was called.

“How old are you?”

“17.”

“Where are your parents?”

“His mother and father are working,” said the grandfather.

“I want his father or mother to be here with him. The reason I want them here is because in many cases the young man hasn’t told them about his ticket and he calls his grandparents and they are willing to come to court with him knowing the parents don’t know.”

“His mother called me and asked me to come up her with him because they both have to work.”

“How do you plead to following too close?”

“Guilty,” said the young man.

“What grade are you in school?” “12th, at Marion.”

“What kind of grades to you make?”

“A’s and B’s.”

“Four hours community service and go to driver’s school.”

Aman in the courtroom was asked by Judge Thorne. “Did you bring your eye exam?”

“Yes, sir, I did.”

“It says you have to get new glasses.”

“Yes. I have already paid for them.”

“But it says you won’t get the glasses until the 14th. You can’t drive until you get your new glasses.”

“I have a truck outside with two vaults on it. Can I deliver them first?” “You don’t have any bodies in there do you?”

“No.”

“Carefully deliver them today and then no driving until you get your new glasses.”

“Yes, sir.”

Judge Fred Thorne

By the Evening Times News Staff